Adderall for Jesus

A quick survey of my book shelves at home reveals a troubling finding - I have Adult ADD. Now, for clarity purposes, I will state that I am not a doctor and have never played one on TV, but I am pretty sure my diagnosis of ADD vs. ADHD is pretty accurate. Attention Deficit Disorder fits me well. Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder is not even an option. Why you ask? Because I am far too overweight to be hyperactive. Yep, self deprecating humor has always been a forte of mine.

In all seriousness, I do believe that a prescription of Adderall or Concerta would help me attain the focus I need to complete a book that I begin to read...or for that matter, the book I have been writing for over a year! By my count, I presently have book marks in the beginning chapters of TWELVE books. TWELVE! A dozen books huddled together on a shelve wondering which one will be picked up next to have his pages dusted off. I bet they have a running bet to see who'll be finished first. By the way, the over/under on having all twelve read is six years.

So, you may be asking what does 'Adderall for Jesus' have to do with my inability to finish a book? Simple - Focus is the reason I fail so often as a Christian. There it is, in black and white. I fail every single day as a Christian due to my glaring personality flaw - my lack of focus.

Think about it, as believers we all know what when Christ sent His 'helper' to assist His followers, that it was none other than the Holy Spirit of He who is I Am. As believers, we also acknowledge that the Holy Spirit lives within us all. If that is the case, shouldn't it be easy for Christians to live a relatively sin free life? One might think so, but it ain't that easy sonny.

How often have you closed your eyes during prayer and felt your mind wandering off to work, or that load of clothes you forgot to fold, or your dinner plans? How about that erotic scene from the movie the night before, or maybe what the lady three rows up had the audacity to wear to church?! I know for me personally, I often have to force myself to try to envision Christ carrying His cross to the crucifiction to prevent my mind from wandering.

And when my actions are contrary to the teachings of Christ, like when I profanely give my golf ball a piece of my mind, or when I show my impatience with the 132 year old driver in front of me; I know that my sins are due to my lack of focus on the Holy Spirit who lives within me.

Oh how life would be so much simpler if every time we overruled the Holy Spirit within us, we got an electric shock - like a taser for three seconds. That would be quite a sight - watching us all twitch thru life like a bunch of robots with electrical shorts. Every time a guy glances at the cute waitress' tight jeans as she walked away from his table ...BZZZZZ!!! Dang it, I spilled my water on me again. You'd hear a lot of folks shouting that famous quote from a couple years back – ‘Don’t tase me bro!”

You see, we are of this world. We are flesh and flesh is weak. The Holy Spirit is not of this world and it is flawless. So why do we continue to try to put the Holy Spirit in the child safety seat in the back of the SUV instead of letting Him drive? Because we have the focus of a.....OH LOOK!! A squirrel!! Sorry, I was going to say, we have the focus of an infant at Chuck E. Cheese's. Every bell, whistle and flashing light has the ability to turn our attention away from Christ faster than Pavlov’s dog. We have the focus of 'infant Christians.'

It's my understanding that Adderall produces an incredible ability to focus in those who take it. People are able to study longer without having their minds drift off to unrelated material. I guess it makes sense, I mean it is pretty much a legal version of Meth! Maybe Merck or Pfizer will come up with a pill called 'Emmanueldall.' Just a pill a day to keep your focus on Jesus Christ. It would be a great invention, and I think you'd see a more attentive congregation each Sunday, especially in the back where everyone tries to hide/blend in - and occasionally check the Blackberry for work e-mails!

Listen, acknowledgement is the first step to recovery. Acknowledging that I lack spiritual focus doesn't make me a 'fake' Christian. In fact, I would argue just the opposite. Because admitting I have a problem is the only way I will be able to try to solve it. Those reading this thinking "I don't let my eyes wander...I focus during prayer...and I've never used profanity" are the ones who may not get the point of this post. Laser like FOCUS on the Lord is the only way we can seek to be more like Jesus. Anything less is out of focus anticipation – waiting for "Emmanueldall."

Twelve books on my shelf are begging me to pick them up and finish reading them. One of them is actually approved by the FDA to be marketed as "Emmanueldall" - The Holy Bible. Guess I better stop typing and get back to reading. But remember; move the Holy Spirit from the child seat to the driver’s seat and YOU become the Co-Pilot. And be sure to wear your seatbelt. I hear Jesus has lead in his foot! ;)